It is Decided

I will own a parrot. But not just any parrot. I will own a parrot that has been involved in a horrific accident where he lost his leg. He will have a peg leg in place of it. Why? Because apparently a glorified toothpick is a justifiable replacement for a leg and claw. Because it is totally rational to believe that a parrot could not stand on a perch with one leg, but can with one leg--and a stick for the other.

Also, I will teach it to say, "Arrrgggg!"

Well then... Polly wants a cracker.